Nope, this is not a bottle of absinthe. It's a bottle of washing-up liquid. This is a common brand from England, where Her Majesty apparently has her very own Fairy By Appointment. Not to be confused with The Green Fairy, (a.k.a. Absinthe) which probably doesn't have a publicized Appointment to the Queen, although I hear she does like a little tipple.
This soap comes in a plethora of different colors as all good washing-up liquids do, besides the nuclear-meltdown-green which you see here. It was pointed out to me that the little baby on the label is farting flowers. Why, yes indeed! She is farting flowers. The baby on the Fairy label farts different things depending on what flavor soap you get. I saw one at the store yesterday where the baby was farting springtime fresh daisies and lavender. We bought “aloe vera & cucumber” soap and before you get totally disgusted, the little baby didn't fart an aloe plant or cucumbers. Ow. She is just farting a green ribbon on that label. Phew! I guess somebody in Marketing really has to think about these things:
“Good afternoon, Gaylord & Boner Advertising, Phil speaking...”
“Hi Phil, Steve from Procter & Gamble. Our new Desert Breeze Fairy soap has prickly pear cactus and yucca. Make sure the baby doesn't fart anything inappropriate on the label.”
“Sure Steve, I have the Fairy Farting Guidelines right here on my desk. It says: 'no baby shall flatulate sharp or uncomfortable objects'”
“So, what do you think then? Rainbows? Feathers?”
“No, the last time we did feathers we had the PETA people all up our arse about it. I think we'll just go with a tan ribbon this time. Kind of a neutral beige.”
“Great work, Phil, I knew we could count on you.”
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