Saturday, 31 December 2011

Be Safe Everyone!

Well I figure I should write a blog post before December is over.  Sorry guys, I've been very busy with the Xmas thing and doing lots of travelling.  My awesomer-half and I recently flew to Amsterdam.  Just wanted to share this with y'all:  The flight safety card we all know and ignore.  Now, if you don't speak Irish, don't fret.  Neither do I... well not very well anyway.  However, these flight-safety cards are totally self-explanatory.  Even an idiot can interpret them, (which I shall attempt to do for you below.)  Please direct your attention to the diagrams:

Behold, the glory that is the Airbus 320.  And by 'bus' we really do mean bus.

Customers in economy seats should note that we can only spare 10 seconds of oxygen in an emergency.  Well... don't complain to ME.  We at Aer Lingus are SORRY you can't breathe.  You should have bought feckin' Business Class instead, shouldn't ya?

Only members of the X-MEN may use electronic devices, such as this hi-tech looking Atari joystick, and 1980's cell phone.

Passengers are reminded that the Airbus 320 is made of Lego.  In the event of severe turbulence, passengers may be asked to rebuild the plane.  We regret any inconvenience this may cause.

The New Math:  The diagram shows that the man on the left is greater than the man on the right, because he chose to fly Business Class.  The lesser man--according to Aer Lingus--is the cheap jerk who bought the economy seat.

In the event that you lose a contact lens, the cabin will fill with smoke for your convenience.