Ok, I have to be careful here, because some of the people who read this blog are my mom's quilting friends, and I don't want to upset them with humorous references to bizarre Japanese hentai. Let's just say the Japanese are unique in some of their er... fetishes, and we must be culturally tolerant... oh who am I kidding. This is just some bizarre sh*t.
Tentacles??? Seriously Louis Vuitton, what were you thinking? I can't believe some of the stuff they put in Dublin shop windows. Like this monstrosity. Who would buy this? Wanda from In Living Color?
Now, if you own something of Louis Vuitton, that's great. Please write to me and tell me what drugs you took, because I'd really like to know. Who in their right mind would buy a Luis Vuitton suitcase for $3150? We have pictured below the Pégase 55 among others:
Anybody who has flown a commercial airline knows what happens to their brand new luggage after just one flight. It comes back with cuts, perforations and scrape-marks all over. Check out this video of: Ryanair baggage handlers. I love how they drag the suitcase behind the luggage truck. Do you want this happening to your three-thousand-dollar suitcase?
I think the folks at Luis Vuitton were on acid when they came up with this stuff. Imagine them playing Incense and Peppermints around a big conference table and passing around a plate of sugar cubes. Then somebody pipes up, "I know, we need a big floating eyeball for the window display."
LSD: Louisergic acid vuittonamide is a psychedelic drug of the ergoline family, known for its psychological effects: closed and open eye visuals, an altered sense of time, and altered thinking processes. People under the influence have the desire to spend insane amounts of money on mundane physical objects, such as luggage and handbags.
Would you have to be on drugs to buy Louis Vuitton? It would probably help. I'm sure you would need them after. After looking at your credit card statement you would be reaching for the Xanax. "Why did I spend $1550 on a duffel bag? If I didn't just win a Grammy for something, I'm in deep sh*t with the landlord."
Perhaps this is why the phrase "insane amounts of money" was coined. Alright, I bet there is somebody reading this who actually owns a Louis Vuitton duffel bag and honestly thinks its a nice piece of luggage. That's fine. I obviously don't live in your world. You probably don't fly Ryanair either. The guy who handles your luggage went to butler college and your duffel bag rests comfortably in the cargo space of a Beechcraft Premier. When you're up there in clouds, say hi to Lucy in the sky for me.